Parenting Through the Unexpected: An Interview with Or in Israel

Life in Israel: Systems That Support, and Systems That Don’t

"It’s not perfect," Or begins, "but we do have a strong system in our city." Families like Or’s are assigned a social worker through the government to help open a case and access educational and medical services. The infrastructure includes public schools, special education institutions, and inclusion classrooms, particularly focused on supporting children on the autism spectrum.

There are legal supports, too: tax breaks, employment protections, and public insurance for medication and therapies. "We pay about $20-30 a month for coverage and can access almost anything—though if you want it faster or better, you go private."

What’s striking, especially to Jess and Joni, is the cultural openness around children in professional spaces. "I bring Dor to work. It helps people understand," Or explains. "My coworkers get to see who he is."

The Daily Balancing Act

Or is Dor’s primary caregiver. "I chose a job working with people with disabilities. It’s a place where Dor is welcomed and understood. Because of his diagnosis, I also get extra sick days from day one, which makes a big difference."

Their daily routine begins early. Often by 4 a.m., Dor is awake. "It’s tough," Or admits. "At 5:30, I give him the tablet so I can function. Then it’s a race to get everyone up, dressed, and out the door." Even small tasks can be major hurdles. "He wants to go places, but struggles with being told what to do."

Still, the wins are real. At his younger brother’s birthday party, Dor saw an upset child and offered him snacks instead of a toy. "That was big. That’s success. That’s progress."

Since the original interview, Or shared an update:

"A lot of people around us say Dor’s behavior has improved. He participates more, sits quietly longer, and reacts better. But when he's tired, we see more tantrums. I even had a babysitter who couldn’t handle him."

He adds: "I feel like I’m alone because he only listens to me. He looks for me constantly. It’s a lot. But I do have a group of babysitters who help share the load."

We asked if there was a recent moment that stood out to Or? "At a family gathering, everyone praised Dor’s behavior. At another event with friends, they said he had clearly improved. It reminded me how far we’ve come."

Living and Parenting in a Conflict Zone

Or shares moments that many listeners might find unimaginable. He often needs to run to their safe room during an air raid while carrying Dor and his other child. Or often sleeps on the couch for weeks, just in case the sirens go off. The danger and stress of war does not subside when Or is at work. "We have 30 seconds at work to move 60 people with disabilities to a safe room. It’s a heavy responsibility."

"We’re getting daily missiles now, even from Yemen. The sirens are constant. They unsettle Dor and throw off his routine every day. It’s making him more on edge."

The family has adapted. "We keep emergency supplies in our safe room, which is also Dor’s toy room. We don’t travel far—it’s too risky if a siren goes off. And our younger son’s kindergarten doesn’t even have a safe room, so we just pray."

Staying Grounded Amid Stress

"It’s almost impossible, but we try to find moments together. A favorite show, a coffee," he says candidly.

Or adds: " We’ve got water bottles, snacks, emergency lights—everything stored in our safe room."

Systems and Support in Transition

In Israel, paramedical treatments used to be subsidized. However, recently, due to the war, the government announced that support would end on September 1st. We’re trying to make the most of it while we still can."

For families just starting this journey, Or advises: "Start now. It’s a long road but worth it. You’ll deal with multiple systems—social security, health funds—it’s a lot, but you need that head start."

Life Lessons and Long-Term Hope

"Dor is my greatest educator," Or says. "He taught me love without conditions, how to manage frustration and anger, how to make friends without words, and how to function on no sleep."

He sees the changes happening. "We’re just starting to thrive. All the hard work is shown to us and in Dor. Friends and family compliment his behavior. I feel calmer. My wife Stav found a new way to connect with him."

On work-life balance, Or says: "Thanks to my manager, I never feel guilty leaving work to attend therapies. That support means everything. I’m happy I can help my wife and be there for Dor."

He also shared a look ahead: "I’ve started making shirts and ordering hats—there’s no local shipping option, so I’m testing how well they sell. And I’m in talks with an entrepreneur about building a ‘house for life’ for people like Dor when they turn 18. It’s a 10-year dream—but I believe we’ll make it real."

CLOSING THOUGHTS

"I hate getting emotional," Or laughs through tears. "But these conversations fill my cup. Just knowing we’re not alone… that’s enough."

And maybe it is. Maybe community doesn’t need to be big or loud to be powerful. Maybe it starts here, with one father in Israel, a few parents in Texas, and a shared frequency of love, struggle, and strength that connects them all.

If you or someone you know is navigating the world of special needs parenting and looking for connection, reach out. We’re building this community one story at a time.

Follow Or on Instagram to continue the journey.

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